When I talk to atheist/skeptic groups, I say that I want to answer the first question I know I’ll get at the end of my talk. “It took you 46 years to get to the truth that I discovered at age [fill in the blank, usually it's between 6 and 10]. Why are you so slow?”
And then I tell them that the most arrogrant people I meet are, in general, atheists. And I wait a beat and say, “And they tell me that’s because they are right!”
Listen up, atheists, agnostics, skeptics, humanists and secularists. Humility is an attractive trait. Don’t believe me? Look at the arrogance of fundamentalist Christians, who are POSITIVE they are right. Do you love or hate them?
Empathy and humility go hand-in-hand. The non-believer crowd can be much more enticing to the atheists-in-the-closet and cultural Christians if it just shows a little compassion and love to the on-the-fence believers. I’ve been to too many groups that just can’t understand how stupid someone must be to “fall for” religion.
I know many people of faith who are smarter than me. It would be the height of arrogance to say these folks are dumb. Some of the world’s greatest minds were/are believers. Let’s strip away the condescension. To place our movement into the mainstream of society, we need to be appealing to those who have doubt about their faith. Love, humility, and share experiences should be our mantra.
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10 responses so far ↓
1 Roger.Martinez.500 // Apr 28, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I’m reading your book now… and for this blog… may I mention that when we took our American tax payer dollars and dropped tons of bombs on the “Christian Army of Yugoslavia”…
and trust me, I hate using the term “Christian” as it implies that some “Christ” exists that the American Goverment is supposed to bow, some bullsh8 “king” named Jesus… it’s a lame term… but I use it here for simplicity….
May I say that when we stopped these people with tons of bombs from continuing their activities.. it was far from arrogance… and should not be divorced from discussions about the religious mind eye.
2 recovergirl // Apr 28, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Thank you for this. Keep speaking out. We all need to be reminded.
3 jungefrau123 // Apr 29, 2009 at 4:57 am
I agree that atheists need to be more warm and fuzzy when it comes to how we present our ideas. Seeing as we’re assumed to be coming from a position of pure evil, it might help a little if we said things like, “Look, I understand why this is so persuasive for you, but let me give you my side of the story.” Even though in my heart of hearts I have nothing but contempt for religion and have a smirk a mile wide underneath my sweet smile, you get more flies with honey than vinegar.
4 Martin // Apr 29, 2009 at 9:56 am
I was thinking more on this article, as I am prone to do, after having posted a comment to it on your Facebook link. To have to say that maybe a little sugar will get one further than a squirt of lemon in the eye one would think should go without saying. Once you’ve pushed somebody’s buttons too hard they stop listening, and you’ve lost the debate no matter how superior whatever you have to say may be. And of course what you have to say is superior, right??
Arrogance breeds contempt. (Chris Hedges, maybe?–funny, I am reading his American Fascists book at the moment; I have no idea what the man is like, however. An ass, it appears, from the entry below.) And criticizing belief is oft taken as a personal critique. Not that I’m one to talk, as I can be fairly cyncial and blunt, but if treating others with some modicum of respect doesn’t come somewhat naturally, maybe that person needs to examine themselves first. As bad as arrogance can be, I don’t believe it is worse than a contrived or feigned affection. That’s just insulting, and the kind of games organizations play simply to add to their roll calls. Which is why I tend to like my free thought to be free of organizations.
5 Tim Stroud // Apr 30, 2009 at 12:37 am
I agree. Let’s learn how NOT to act from those actions we abhor.
Atheists start off at a public relations disadvantage. Being Godless is equated with being without morals, not trustworthy, less humane. Stereotypes that can be overcome.
The Golden Rule is a good rule for believers and unbelievers.
And there is no reason that as an atheist movement progresses we cannot pick and choose to live by the moral lessons that our ancestors, believers and unbelivers both, bequeath to us.
6 joyful // Apr 30, 2009 at 6:12 am
I completely agree. Arrogance is abhorrent from anyone of any belief. We shouldn’t be defensive either — although it is difficult when I hear atheists described as without morals, values or believing there is nothing bigger than themselves.
I don’t have contempt for believers. I can totally understand why people would want to believe that there is a divine purpose to their life, that someone is listening to their prayers and that they will be reunited with their loved ones when they die. While those are all nice things, I prefer to believe that I need to find my own life’s purpose, that I need to work hard to realize my dreams, that sometimes bad things happen but I need to focus on those things that are within my control, and that my loved ones live on in my memory — and hopefully I will live on in the memories of those I leave behind.
I hate the word atheist — I prefer to say I don’t believe in God, rather than I believe there is no God (subtle difference — but less arrogant). Nevertheless — I’m excited that atheism is getting more press, and if we stand tall and take the high road, I think we will be able to change people’s opinions.
7 zpatten // May 1, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Great, thoughtful post and comments all. As a lifelong atheist, I realize my lack of belief mainly stems from being raised by parents who no longer believed in God. Had I been born into a different family, things would likely be very different for me. But I do struggle with frustration at those who wield their faith like a weapon, whether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim. That said, one only needs to consider the case of Christopher Hitchens, who seems to have contempt for anyone not named Christopher Hitchens, to understand how unattractive atheists can be. So let’s be proud of who we are and what we believe (or don’t believe), but without denigrating our religious friends and their worldviews.
8 heina // May 4, 2009 at 11:05 am
As a fellow ex-religionist, I too feel like cradle atheists can be really arrogant. It’s almost not their fault, as they have no idea what it’s like to have had faith. It’s nice to see a new breed of prominent atheist come out, including but not limited to yourself and Dan Barker, who are a lot less aggressive and a lot more digestible to theists than, let’s say, Chris Hitchens or Sam Harris, and I think having a religion haunting your past can help with that.
9 William Lobdell « Transparent Eye // May 8, 2009 at 1:00 am
[...] also has a blog, and in this post, writes about how some atheists can be condescending and therefore offputting to those they might wish to [...]
10 Do Humanists Have Emotional Intelligence? « Transparent Eye // May 10, 2009 at 12:31 am
[...] But as noted in a previous post, William Lobdell has noted that atheist groups often have rough edges. Tom Clark has recently argued that displaying contempt for religionists is not a good strategy, [...]
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