My dad (pictured here with me in 1960) continues to hover between life and death. Whenever he’s made some progress over the past few weeks, Dad’s then hit with two or three new ailments. Each time, he’s a little weaker for it and so the downward spiral goes. He’s like a mountain climber who can’t drive his pick ax into the ice as he slides down the mountain face.
Though in pain and so tired that he sleeps most of the time, he seems to be at peace with where he’s at. Dad doesn’t doubt he’ll soon be in heaven, where he’ll eventually reunited with my very alive mom, his wife of 56 years.
Being close to the edge of death tends to focus one’s thoughts intensely on the world’s biggest mystery: what happens when we die? Which, if any, of the thousands of religions, got it right? I’ve got my theory — that we feel nothing after we die, much like we felt nothing before we were born — but it’s only a theory. It will be interesting to see how durable that theory is when it’s my turn to be on the edge of death.
We’ll see.
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2 responses so far ↓
1 Eric // Jul 4, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Thinking of you, your dad and family during this time of “hovering”.
2 Wil // Jul 4, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Maybe it’s just the state of mind for here and now that really matters, and everything else - all the what will happens - is just to ease that particular time. In that case, sounds like he’s in a good place. If it would help you to focus on his feeling of peace instead of your feeling of inevitable loss and suffering, I wonder if it would be easier on you too? One thing is sure, it’s easy to advise. Here if you need anything brother.
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